I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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