yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
