You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
