Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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