just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
