This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
