I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I forget how to act sober
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
