What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
