So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize