So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
