so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
