What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize