His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
