Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
People in love make me want to vomit
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
