Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize