I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
