my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
If I die, sorry about rent.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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