Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
