I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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