do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
