Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
