If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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