Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
