wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
