Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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