There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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