lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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