You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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