Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize