should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
