They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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