Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
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