is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
