Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
