Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
