Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
