She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
