I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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