I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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