True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
We left an ass print on the piano.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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