for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
