"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Blood and glitter go together right?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
