his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
