so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
