He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
