If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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