I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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