I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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