I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
look no pants
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
When are your genitals available?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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