with your own penis?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
