yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
