38 yer olds are good kisserssss
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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