This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
