I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
