I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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