he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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