I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
