I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
