I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize